Recent headline-grabbers : Part 2

A roundup of some key recent events:-

1.   Post approval of statehood for Telangana, there are 21 seperate demands for new states, potentially raising India's future tally to 50 - http://indiatoday.intoday.in/story/telangana-statehood-issue-upa-2-government-kcr-trs-chief-bifurcation-of-andhra-praddesh/1/297699.html 
      
      Last heard, Gurgaon's DLF mall was also planning to file petition for a seperate statehood, a new currency and an appropriate mention in the updated national anthem 

2.   Madhya Pradesh CM Shivraaj Singh Chouhan reinforces his flagship scheme, 'Kanyaadan Yojana', to offer newly wed couples, cash sops worth INR 15000. Which is about 68% of the (Labour Bureau ratified) average annual income of a farmer in Madhya Pradesh - http://www.siasat.com/english/news/%E2%80%98mp-mukhyamantri-kanyadan-scheme%E2%80%99-amount-increased-rs-15000 

Parallely, the CM has also finalized his slogan for the upcoming polls : "Get hitched.  And take a holiday for 68% of the year." 

3.   Rickshaws again threaten a strike in Mumbai over the RTO's clampdown on tampered meters -  http://zeenews.india.com/news/maharashtra/commuters-bear-brunt-of-auto-drivers-strike_732595.html

On an entirely unrelated note, my neighbor's 4 year old kid angrily locks himself in a room, on being caught while stealing candies 

4.   In geodesic parlance, Delhi to Jaipur, 'as the crow flies', is approximately 260 kms. 

In a more recently developed travel parlance, Delhi to Jaipur, 'as the LTC-due-PSU-employee flies', is about 28884 kms, includes a stopover in Sao Paolo and costs about INR 130000 more than what that crow would pay for a business class seat on Indigo  - http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/Leave-travel-concession-scam-Delhi-to-Jaipur-via-Brazil/articleshow/22037592.cms 

5.   Amidst volatility in crude, depreciation in INR and a stark rise in vegetable prices, Raghuram Rajan steps in as new RBI governor to oversee the latest round of new banking licences for which 26 applications were received - http://india.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/08/21/rising-onion-prices-tempt-highway-robbers-in-india/?_php=true&_type=blogs&_r=1

Rajan left scrambling for cover as 14 of the above pitch a novel form of alternative financing for the nation : LAO (Loan Against Onions)

My Harajuku moment - India's CAD and the Anker ultra-high density external battery charger

The Harajuku moment, as defined by Malcolm Gladwell, is a moment in time where you have a revelation that must happen. And must happen now. 

Now, I've never exactly been the most politically inclined guy around. I managed to scrape through school and college with minimal involvement in any of the electoral processes. Sure, on the run up to election day in 8th std, I distributed those "Vote for xyz" pamphlets.  But that was only because I actually did believe that xyz would fundamentally alter man's understanding of particle physics - And while at it, she'd also increase the lunch break by 15 minutes. 

But there comes a time when every well-meaning citizen must sit up and take notice of his/her nation's affairs. At some point, everyone needs to get aware of the direction in which his/her nation is heading. And this Harajuku moment can arise from a bunch of noble reasons. 

Or, in my case, the cost spike of Anker's ultra-high density external battery charger.

I'm talking, of course, about the 10000 mAh Lithium-Polymer beaut which is good enough to recharge your android twice (at least) on the go, can also charge your tablets and is cross-compatible across multiple devices. Its listed on Amazon for USD 54. 

Which means that on 1st May 2013, I would have paid INR 2906.28 (at an exchange rate of 53.82) for it. But I ordered it on 20th August 2013, and ended up paying INR 3440.88 (at an exchange rate of 63.72). 

Basically, I ended up paying 18.4% more in a matter of 1 quarter. 

For the same price of USD 54.

And I’m Marwadi.

It didn’t add up. 

So I decided to dig a little deeper into India's CAD  (Current Account Deficit) issues and understand why I was paying 18.4% more just because I thought Sachin Tendulkar was a bigger deal than Wayne Gretzky. That is, just because I was desi. 

India's rising CAD was to take significant blame for my financial misfortunes. CAD basically resulted in a surplus of INR floating around the world, which reduced its appeal to the point where the owner of the friendly, neighborhood American dollar-store said “53.82 rupye mein kaam nahi chalega, 63.72 aande”. 

You know how it is - you’re willing to sell off your kidney for your first Wimbledon Centre Court ticket, but after you’ve seen too many matches on Centre Court, you’re only willing to sell off 81.6% of your kidney for it.

Something like that.

CAD, as Investopedia explains, occurs when  a country's total imports of goods, services and transfers is greater than the country's total export of goods, services and transfers. That’s not always a bad thing, not for a growing country anyway. That is, not until your GDP stalls.

When it does, investors start noticing that there are better and safer places to park their funds than a nation which thinks it can retrospectively amend tax laws to levy penalties of over INR 20,000 crores on a telecom company. Or one whose Planning Commission truly believes that you’re not actually poor if you can spend over INR 26 per day. Or one where Chennai Express was a smash hit.

So why is the CAD rising? Let’s break it down further.

 

Now let’s examine the LHS elements of the equation.

·         Total inflows - This was a tough one to crack. It’s inexplicable why foreign investors aren’t tripping over each other to put their last penny on India. Ok, so as a country where 300 million citizens (or about a quarter of the total population) have no access to electricity (as on Dec 2011), we may still insist on 65 clearances to set up a coal-based power plant. And with over 58% of our workforce involved in Agriculture, we may have decided that the best way to prop our famers up against global competitors from Australia and America was to subject them to a 5 hectacre limit on land holdings. And we may juggle with the odd IAS officer who’s inconveniencing the sand mafia over some silly environmental norms. 

But what’s a little red-tape and corruption between friends? After all, we are still the world’s largest democracy, aren’t we? (Notwithstanding Didi’s run-ins with the odd, errant cartoonist)

So it just beats me why there’s been a sudden exodus of USD 16 bn in the first 5 months of 2013 (a 67% y-o-y increase in FDI exodus). Let’s just put this capital flight issue down as inscrutable and move on to the next item then.

·         Total outflows – Our biggest problem, of course, is the revival of the US economy and we can’t really be blamed for the US finally getting its act together, reducing its count of jobless fukras and generally boosting investor confidence enough to get them packing out of the emerging markets and back into Uncle-Sam-land without waiting for a toodle-oo.

Isme hamari kya galti hai ki unhe America zyaada pasand hai? As explained above, we toh gave them a ton of reasons to louuu India.

With a heavy heart and a philosophical “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it's yours. If it does not come back, it was never meant to be”, the Indian government has decided to overlook this blatant treachery of the foreign investors. 

And do nothing in terms of fundamental structural changes or other such pish posh. 

It has instead moved on to contain the CAD, largely, by regulating the elements of its Outflow. What, then, are the elements of the Outflow ie what are we importing?

Close to half of India’s import bill is accounted for by 2 elements: Oil and Gold.

1.    Oil = 30% of India's import bill

a.    The country produces only 25% of its domestic requirement. This, inspite of the Oilmin going out of its way to incentivize the private sector to make something out of our natural reserves. (Just dial Mukri's number and say 'KG D6' for more deets on this)

2.    Gold = 12% of India’s import bill

a.    We are responsible for anywhere between 25-33% of the annual global gold demand.

How, then, has the government gone about managing our CAD? In a couple of ways, but lets look at two of the brighter measures:-

1.    PC has asked investors to pump money in quasi-sovereign bonds by Indian Infrastructure entities - So he's basically encouraging you to buy a pass for the aforementioned Great-Indian-65-clearances ride

2.    Just as a check between friends, PC first banned gold imports and then raised duties on them, once imports were resumed – sort of a “Why won't you believe me and let me dictate your choice of asset classes for investment? After all, you have my fine track record to go by” (The NDA passed on an India with a Current Account Surplus to the UPA. Thereafter, PC and Pronobda have helmed the Finmin. India’s expected CAD in FY14 is USD 70 bln)

Now the UPA figured that some of the ignorant masses may question the wisdom of these perfectly logical moves. So as an add-on bonanza offer, it finally unleashed its finishing manoeuvre yesterday – Effective 26/8/13, it has decided to levy a 36% custom duty on flat panel TVs brought back from Thailand, Singapore and Dubai. This will discourage you and me from rationalizing our next Thai trip under the pretext of buying a cheap TV. And will keep our INR in the hands of Indian retailers. 

Surely, if that cant save our failing currency, nothing can.

All of which brings me to my key point – In view of these grand, wise moves from the UPA, can Anker just do the right thing and let me buy that portable charger at INR 54 to the USD?

                     

Word.

Snapshot from the Stockholm-Helsinki cruise

A really pretty sight like that can either : 

1. Summon the finest poetry / photography from within your soul 

                                                      or 

2. Really piss you off about having an awfully shallow soul which is no good at either.

I distinctly remember cribbing about how the beer was "too cold", that evening.

Chewing gum - 5th April, 2012.

"I guess when you're a little kid, you're a little bit of everything - Scientist, Astronaut, Artist... Sometimes it seems like growing up is a process of giving all those things up... one by one..."

- The Wonder Years.

Vegas conference, 2011.

Not too many people believe this, but it is actually possible to love your workplace for reasons other than :

1. The office has a foosball table.

2. The pantry stocks beer on fridays.

One such reason is when your workplace holds its annual conference in Vegas.

Q.E.D.    

* Big, yellow, blissful Smiley *

Conference apart, I caught up with some of my buddies from engineering school in Vegas and NY for 2 weekends of pure gold.

Now most folks regard Vegas as the motherland of mindless debauchery but I thought of my trip as quite a learning experience. I remember jotting down some of these learnings on a damp tissue paper at this respectable bar on the strip, at a respectable hour in the night:-

1. Nevada isn’t actually shut from 11 am to 11 pm.

2. Petrol is cheaper than diesel in US and on a PPP basis, about 1/3rd as cheap as India - So I don't get why all those folks were fussing about the futility of the Iraq war.

3. A black LWB Escalade is the most pimping set of wheels you can ride on. Its massive, obscene and you'd reckon the best mileage it could manage is 2 - That's 2 litres per km.

4. ‘The spectacular melting smores sundae’ definitely beats the ‘Chocolate chunk pizza’ at Max Brenner.

I'm still not sure if any of these learnings belong to the classical "Bird in hand is worth two in the bush" school of maxims in terms of usefulness in life. But if you had to take away any one of them, I'd recommend number 4.

I'd also recommend that you NOT cheap-ass your way out of tipping a New York cabbie, but thats for another day.

The Road Not Taken - Robert Frost

I’m not too much into poems. My poetic achievements pretty much peaked with my critically acclaimed versions of "Stop that", back in the day (famous song from this Govinda movie - Largely credited as the uniting anthem of Gujarat in the pre-Devang Patel era).

I’ve only ever posted one other poem in my blog - If by Rudyard Kipling. And I can’t think of too many others that appeal to me as much as this one does.

The Road Not Taken – Robert Frost

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—

I took the one less travelled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Recent headline-grabbers : Part 1

A roundup of some of the key events of recent times :-

1. Anna Hazare scores with his version of the Lokpal Bill - most of us have no clue if it makes any sense or not but the dude wears Khaadi and thinks Sharad Pawar is a doofus... So it probably does. (Also, guys on his side get to wear funky Nehru caps and tees with "I am Anna" prints - We're in.)

2. The 1 year Greek Sovereign Bond yield crosses 98%. Thats Greek-speak for "Give me your money. The world is over 98% certain that I wont return a cent but wtf, I gave you  Toga parties. And feta cheese. Toh paihheyy aan de."

3. Sahara One launches a new soap - "Niyati : Sindoor ka farz ya Doodh ka karz ?"

4. Rival-producer Ekta Kapoor resorts to binge drinking to deal with surging popularity of above. Last heard, she promised, through a drunken slur, to unleash her vengeance by assaulting your mom and mine with 13 new Saas-Bahu serials.

5. Petrol prices hiked by another 3 rupees. To counter resulting crash in car sales, Tata ties up with BPCL and launches innovative marketing scheme : "Buy 400 litres of petrol, get 1 Tata Nano free".

"Simon, go beckkk"

After a brief hiatus (3 years - give or take a bit), we're back.

Its been an interesting 3 odd years : Went backpacking across Europe with some buddies, did more of Europe again on my exchange program, discovered the greatest pizza joint in the world on a small, nondescript street of Florence, did the Oktoberfest (Bucket list - check), moved across Asia a couple of times including (and especially) Phuket with some buddies on a Bachelor trip, began learning how to play the guitar, gave up on learning how to play the guitar 24 minutes after I began, saw superhot blonde lesbians making out in a club, in real-life (again, Bucket list - check), gatecrashed a wedding (wearing chappals), learnt poker, learnt that I'm awful at poker, went backpacking to London, learnt of 4 new pick-up lines that definitely dont work, passed out of B-School, began work-life, got pretty bored of work-life.

Mostly, in that order.

I also gave a fair bit of thought to the fact that if you folks could survive the global financial crisis, the Japanese quakes and 'My name is Khan' in this interim period, you’ll may just be able to make it through some more of these blogs.

I could be mistaken.

Im aware.

Cheers anyway.

The Strait Times - April 13

This side of the Bermuda Triangle, the one mystery which has befuddled the best of mankind across the ages has obviously been :The art of Ironing - The art of ironing an office shirt, to be more precise.

Its a task fraught with dangers, one designed to test the very limits of human fortitude, ability and survival skill sets. Newton and Steve Irwin figured this out way before the others which is why they took easier routes to fame and glory - like Classical Physics and Crocodile Wrestling.

As with most other types of unheralded perils, this one too seems deceptively harmless from a distance.

Get down to it though, and by the time you've gotten out of it, it dawns on you that you just spent the better part of an hour in performing the perfectly wasteful task of disfiguring what was once a good, expensive, new (repeat - New) shirt. That you actually spent sweat, blood and tears over something for an hour while that time could have been used so much more productively... like, for smoking about 14 cigarettes.

And then you just get mad at yourself and get back to it with renewed anger because its an ego issue now.

Sooooooo by the time this exercise had ended, I had lost exactly 2 hours, 2 and a half shirts, much of my self-respect and all of my ego. Half of a Blue shirt is still alive - by which i mean that still seems blue and still looks like a shirt... sort of.

In the end though, I remember Darwin's principal of 'Survival of the Fittest' reaffirming itself - The Iron definitely proves far fitter and the shirt does not survive.

Anyway, thats that. Sympathetic junta, dont bother to pour in those concerned calls now - it took me 3 cans of cheap, korean beer but I'm over that sorrow now.

I'm also over the first week of internship at Singapore now. Its been a fair bit off from the campus times at IIM Calcutta and its definitely been a steep curve. Learnt a lot of new things : 2 of which were - 'Choi Chee Bai' and 'Kan Ni Ban Choi Che Bai'- which in Malayan stand for "Smelly vagina" and "Your mother has a smelly vagina". Respectively. Friend of mine who's been studying here for a year now assures me that those two are pretty much the bee's knees in the Malayan cuss world.

Btw, clay court season starts soon and with Djoko firing on all cylinders, it should get pretty interesting for Nadal, Fed and the gang. Here's looking forward to that - Adios for now.

(For the uninformed,The Strait Times is Singapore's cheapest daily - which explains why its the only newspaper we've gotten our hand on - which explains the title. And also highlights a severe lack of imagination)

The Strait Times - April 5

Here s your 'did u know ?' fact for the day :- Did you know that you could be fined upto 1000 Singapore dollars for smoking in the MRT !!

To make that clearer for our mathematically challenged friends, that means you could be docked a cool INR 30,000 for roasting your lungs near an MRT station.

That apart, Singapore looks like a pretty decent place to me. Its roads, though are really clean... and its pathways are really clean... and its bus stops are really clean... and its bylanes are... yea, you get the drift....

Say, whats with these Chinese people having the most age-defying skin complexions ever. For instance, that pretty woman you were gaping at near the restaurant, the one for whom you mustered all your courage to ask the time (yes, the one who replied with a finger pointing at your wristwatch which you tactlessly forgot to hide) was actually a mother of 3.

Though you ve got to say these guys have a pretty good sense of humour - So we went to this authentic Chinese restaurant and the menu card is essentially this elaborate 12 page enlistment of every organ of every animal you've ever heard of, cooked in every imaginable way known to mankind... with about 1/4th of a page dedicated to 'Vegetables'. Whose contents were - i kid you not - Mixed Vegetables with Chicken, Mixed Vegetables with Fish, Mixed Vegetables with Pork and Mixed Vegetables with Prawn. I thought it was pretty funny. Somehow Jignanshu, my pure veg Gujju co-intern here (who btw, was fricking hungry at that point) couldnt exactly see the humour in it.

Anyway, thats all for now - Rest assured, boredom, laziness and time crunch not withstanding, I will spam this blog with more of such useful trivia on Singapore over the coming weeks. Adios for now.


(For the uninformed,The Strait Times is Singapore's cheapest daily - which explains why its the only newspaper we've gotten our hand on - which explains the title. And also highlights a severe lack of imagination)

The heart of the matter.

Pete Sampras, Hall of Fame Induction speech - July 14, 2007:

"I embraced the quiet way and I walked the high road as best as I could. Above all, I wanted to represent myself, my family, and the game in a way in which we could all be proud of."

"So as I take my place among the greatest players of all time here in the Hall of Fame, I stand before you both humble and grateful. I'm a tennis player, nothing more and nothing less. It's more than enough for me, it always has been, I thank you,"

If - Rudyard Kipling.

I think a really good poem is one,whose essence stays in your mind, long after the words no longer do. And I dont know if too many poems fit the bill as well as this one does. Here's to an old favourite that I happened to re-read recently :-
_____________________________________________________________


IF-RUDYARD KIPLING.


If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;


If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!


------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Seriously?... No kidding?

Overheard from Harshil, the other day :-
(We were chilling at Float, the bar-lounge thingie of JuhuGym club)

“I mean, seriously, I think you should listen to your parents... For all you know, sometimes they might just be saying something for your own good”

Impressively, he needed only half a pint, to come up with this massively insightful observation.

And yet its almost on par with some of his previous bests :-“ I feel if we don’t study, we wont score that well...” , "I dont think a lot of people like writing these lengthy assignments..."

Rock on,Silk.

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna - A movie for all ages.

When my 2 month training program at Pune was approaching its end, there were a lot of girls in our batch,who wanted us to fill these slambook thingies. The ones where u had questions like 'favourite cuisine','motto in life', 'Greatest regret in life 'etc - you know, the types we'd last seen when we were in 7th std.

I saw the movie in Pune. Saw Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna, first day,last show.

And though i couldnt pick one then,I am now certain that the above statement is my updated answer for the column 'Greatest regret in life '.

Anyway,my justification for the admission of guilt is that I had Parag with me in Pune, that evening.

For those who know Parag,that explains everything. For the lucky ones who don’t, all you need to know is that he’s the soppiest, most annoying SRK fan this side of the Atlantic. And that he doesnt relent even when faced with an entire group of fairly vocal K-Jo haters. And that he will eventually wear you down and get you to pay for that movie ticket.

To be honest,the movie had it all - drama, suspense, action, comedy and that unexpected twist in the tale, which we never saw coming. I’ll list them the way I saw ‘em.

ACTION:-
SRK vs spectacled 6 yr old boy,Arjun . Despite injury on leg, SRK dominates throughout in what is clearly a one-sided battle. But judges claim this might have something to do with him being 5ft taller,50 odd kgs heavier, n 40 odd yrs elder to the spectacled-boy.

COMEDY:-
Lets give credit where its due. We have to admit the movie was bloody funny. I’ll list a few moments that made me laugh till it hurt :-
1. Amitabh’s deathbed scene - He manages to condense 3 hours worth of ham in 3 mins,23 seconds. Why, K.Jo, why? More importantly -how?
2. Amitabh’s senti speech in party.
3. Amitabh in those glares.
4. SRK givin justification to Rani, on why they should be sleeping together.
5. SRK missing out on 3 yrs of sleeping with Rani coz he didn’t care to find out whether she was given the boot too (Hey, I thought that was realllyy funny)

UNEXPECTED TWIST IN THE TALE:-
1. SRK cried.
2. SRK hammed.

(Obviously, we wouldn't expect that to happen in a KJO movies. Or in any of SRKs movies, for that matter)

DRAMA:-
“Chandigarh..." ?(Dude, whatever)

BEST PART OF THE MOVIE:-
1. The start – when they showed the Dhoom 2 promos.(Yea baby, bring it on, Ash)
2. The end- you’ve never seen so many relieved faces in one room.


All in all, I’ll sum it up by reiterating my heading - this is a movie for all ages.Kids,uncles and aunts,grandparents - People of all ages will detest this movie, as also people across centuries,across millennia, across eons - basically,across ages.

-

Am back...after a hiatus of 3 odd months... Yep, thats about it for this post.

(Clearly, the 3 months of absence did nothing to alter the radical spirit of free thought and unbridled imagination)

Torquin' Point.

[ Every great creation of mankind begins its life cycle as a dream . It is the vision of a small group of pioneers-who dare to think big, who refuse to compromise under hardships and constraints and whose relentless focus is to bring their undiluted efforts to fruition.

Lets clarify one thing at the start:- We weren’t anything like that.

A group of 6 guys from DJ Sanghvi COE dreamt of creating their own magazine. It was supposed to shape into a general interest magazine:- with sections dedicated to cars, music, gizmos, education, humour and what have you. I was supposed to be in charge of the automotive section, a unanimous opinion , given my manic passion for cars, the breadth and depth of my automotive knowledge , the maturity of my views and the fact that no one else cared a hoot about cars.

Accordingly, I had written the editorial of the would-be opening issue . You know how it is, you ve been raised on a staple diet of Clarkson, Kitman, Sorabjee, Bijoy and you yearn to bless the world with your monthly views on automotive happenings of importance.

So here it is, the first editorial of the automotive section of the 1st issue of that aborted attempt.

Now I’m not really expecting people to read this and shed tears of joy , or rediscover the bliss of the first showers after summer , or name their first child after me, but heck, since I had written it, ill post it anyway]

_____________________________________________________________________
TORQUIN’ POINT
-NEWS,VIEWS AND WHAT NOT.


Our survey indicates that more people prefer spending Sunday afternoons watching F1 races than comparing popping speeds of different brands of toasters. More people seem to swear by Ferrari, Mclaren and BMW than GE,SAMSUNG and other respectable refrigerator brands. And evidence firmly suggests that, while admiring the lines and curves of a microwave may be an enchanting way to spend time , more people seem more passionate about the shape of a Lamborghini or an Alfa Romeo.

That explains why we are here with a section on cars rather than any other widely used commodity.

The automobile has come a long way indeed. From the humble Ford Model T to the exotic Bugatti Veyron , its been an exciting and an eventful journey. Starting from a basic sedan, the automobile today ,comes in a mind boggling array of forms :- 5 door, 3 door, 2 door, convertible , ragtop, hardtop, coupe , hatch , SUV, MPV, MUV ,CC,GT and other abstruse acronyms. Few entities , if any, have spawned so much variety in form and function.

And even fewer have such consummate command over so many human emotions with such ease:- awe,envy,pleasure,thrill,love,pride,possessiveness. All that and more.

Fact of the matter is, more than most other things, a car is a very public reflection of who you are, of what you like , of your personality and your taste. I cant think of too many other things that would cost anywhere between 2- 900 lakh rupees , have more hues than you can imagine , more shapes than you can count and cater to such a diverse set of requirements.

Today,most superior nations no longer consider the autocar a luxury, its taken more as a regular commodity. In third world countries, like ours, that acceptance is still some way off. But gradually we are getting exposed to better, sexier , more desirable cars. With so many choices in so many segments, the Indian car buyer has never had it so good. And it can only get better.

Heard that old saying :-“ In life, try to forget the destination and learn to enjoy the journey”? Well , making sure that you have an “enjoyable journey” would be the endeavour of this automotive section .

- Cheers,
Rishabh.

My first visit to IIT,Powaii- a true story with action, drama, romance, comedy...

Finally made my first trip to IIT Powaii. IIT is supposedly where the best and the brightest of our country work, immersed in trying to find a solution to all problems that fester mankind , right from creating fuel out of water to figuring out the sense in Anu Malik s lyrics. IIT is also a mini village with an acreage in 3 digits and with a sex ratio of (contrary to official figures) 1:200. That explains why anything remotely female within the campus, species no bar, is treated with god like reverence. And is subjected to such opening lines as “ hi, Im xyz and have an all India rank of 21.Want to have ice cream with me sometime?”. It also explains why ,amidst years of isolation from the female sex, they get a very distorted idea of what passes as “hot”. Now, Im not one to judge but I reckon with sufficient amount of alcohol, Arijit could find a regular cow pretty hot.


Anyway, it was close to 1 am when I first passed through the hallowed gates of one of India s most revered institutions. Thats pretty much precisely the time when most IITians get up and start their nightly routine of studying ,mucking around in the canteen and generally wasting their life in each other s company.


Our tour started from the main gate towards the hostel H3 where my buddy Arijit Sarkar has his lodging. As the car moved towards H3, Sarkar gave us a guided tour notifying us of the places of interest in the humongous campus. We came across the Shailesh J Mehta School of Management ,which is a landmark for guys who want to do their MBA from IIT. There was the huge convocation hall which is made to international standards. And then as we were taking this sharp right, Sarkar , with a look of undisguised reverence, and a voice thick with serious emotion , pointed to a building named , and Im not kidding here, “Queen of the campus”. You d think ,from his manner, that it probably had an underground vault filled with gold and diamonds and a secret passage to Estella Warren s bedroom . But no, the reason this place is the holy grail for these guys is that its one of the 3 girls hostels on campus. Females ,as aforementioned, are a scarce commodity in IIT, and the demand-supply equation here is pretty skewed. Which basically means that if you have a girlfriend on campus, you are looked upon as a demigod with an awe usually reserved for Einstein and Newton. As Sarkar wistfully revealed , in his pre IIT days , he had a female colleague in his classes who was hairier than an average 27 year old male and whom, back then, he wasnt "really into". She'd now gotten through to Powaii was considered the epitome of beauty and was the apple of 13 pairs of eyes. He also affirmed that he would readily give his right arm or left leg or both to win her attention now.


Anyway, we crossed a few buildings and a few more and 2 days later finally reached hostel h3. We got out of the car and moved towards the entrance.


We were greeted by a sight of scores of scrawny , unshaved boys schmoozing about with plates full of, as the menu proclaimed, “chineeees” bhel, “schizwan noodal “ and hakka “chopsee”. Coupled with an alarming disconcern for any dress code and a practised proficiency at concocting expletives in a hybrid accent mashing and mixing the worst twangs of Punjabi, Maharashtrian and Gujrati , they indeed justified IITs claims of being a cross cultural haven and also made us feel very much at home. If anything,they seemed as wasted as we, in DJ Sanghvi COE , were. Dodging the odd stray dog or two, we moved inwards.


Sarkar also offered to let us in his room . Now when u hear sarkar talking about his room it seems that visiting it is an event which will redefine your life and will be something you can proudly relate to your grandchildren. In more ways than one, that is true. When my mom next screams at me for being an untidy slob ( which should be today) Ill soothe my conscience by reminding myself of how high Id stand in her estimation, if she were to visit Sarkars room. With no warning or premonition of what we were going to face, we were led to the 2nd floor till we found ourselves outside a flimsy wooden door.


Sarkar opened the door and switched on the light. The walls were blue in colour . At least, the visible parts seemed to be. Though the vast majority of their expanse was covered by cobwebs of all shapes, sizes and intricate designs . Sarkar carefully pointed out the finer details of the cobweb design with a pride that comes naturally to a man whose room has been publicly acknowledged by the entire hostel as holding the finest collection of the same. The eyes then saw terra firma for the first time. Not that much of it could be seen. On the floor was a motley collection of objects , ascertaining the exact nature of which would require at least a team of 17 people at work for at least the better part of a year. Some of it could be made out though. The small room had a flooring covered with several layers of ET, which gave a fine effect of an innovative wall to wall tiling design. There were various other papers of all sizes and colours littered about. I picked up one . It was Sarkars previous exam s q. paper. Sarkar gave us an idea of the convenience he had factored into the careful designing of his room as he put a hand down , rummaged a bit and came up with a pen, then did it again and came up with a blank paper. Having never personally spent on stationary ,he claimed this technique had never failed him in all these years. Like ghosts and spirits, it was just one of those inexplicable things of nature which go to show that there is still much that cannot be explained by science. There were , he claimed 2 beds, one of which was on the floor. This was buried under a layer of newspapers and 2 each of dirt and grime. The other one, had at one end, 2 shoes of different sizes. Sarkar claims these weren’t his. Next to it were a pair of dirty socks which had been used during a football match in the summer of 2001. These , Sarkar claimed, were his. There was, somewhere in between ,the battered remnants of some novel . Having tried , I can safely say that it was impossible to ascertain which one. Sarkar solved this puzzle by saying, in recent times, he had read 3 novels , and in all probability ,what we saw was a heterogeneous combination of those. There was also a lock and a key ,though not a pair, a few transistors , what seemed to be a pillow case, and a soap (seeing which, Sarkar said “ ah, finally found it after a week “ which makes me wonder if he bathed at all in that week) on the upper bed. Further up was a table which housed a monitor . Next to it, on the floor, lay the mangled carcass of a CPU. It was open ,had no fan unit, had torn wires all over, and if my guess was correct, that straw hatched structure within was a sparrows nest.


Then with a beaming face, Sarkar led us to a cupboard . This, he opened with an exaggerated flourish and smiled as if we had finally witnessed the star attraction of the evening. But all we could see were more ETs , these ones being older, this being evident from the mouldy fungus that grew on it. We could not , as honest friends , render this collection on a higher pedestal than the other wonders on exhibition. Sarkar s face fell for a second ,then turning to the cupboard, he gave an “oh!!” , smiled sheepishly and moved away the papers. Hidden behind them were two bottles of cheap Korean liquor. A couple of swigs were partaken and yielding to popular demand, Sarkar finally decided to conclude this item on the itenary.


On our way out, he claimed ,to an unbelieving audience, that he had cleaned the room 4 times over the past 2 years,bringing the average up to 1 per semester. He also revealed how his previous room mate had left the room ,remembering that he was the only child to his ageing parents and had a responsibility towards them.


As we walked back towards the car, Sarkar told us tales of the leopard and the crocodile which had infested IIT over different periods during the previous year. He did not react kindly to the suggestion that these wild animals were naturally drawn to the compatible company that was resident within the hostels.


At this point,we overheard an animated conversation that was taking place in one of the ground floor rooms. Apparently, exams were on and as is the norm there, a group of 5 had gathered to study together on the night before. 4 of them were coaxing one boy, evidently, the accepted authority and brain in the group, to explain a chapter to them. He finally agreed , started his explanation , was stopped short 2 minutes later ,by protests that he was an ass and didn’t know head or tail of what he was saying. After a volley of questions ,doubts and arguments he was coaxed again to continue, again he got another 3 sentences in ,only to have his logic challenged, his common sense questioned and to earn 4 ready pointers to the flaws in each. This ritual continued sequentially over the next couple of minutes. Sarkar explained : “exams are on" and moved on.


We visited the lake where most IITians drink alcohol and listen to rock by the bank .At 2 odd in the night, it did seem a very inviting place to get inebriated . Sarkar remembered how he had first got drunk here and had cried after listening to the song “Yellow”.


With that, we came to an end of what was a memorable visit. We reflected on what had been the first hostel visit for us : A good number of these guys came from different states and spent months ,on end ,away from their friends and family. In the company they enjoy ,they are bound to get tougher and smarter and will be a whole lot better equipped than most to tackle the knocks of life. The entire atmosphere spurs them to constantly rediscover newer levels of proficiency in themselves and to keep climbing that one step higher till they reach the levels of excellence for which they are applauded all over the world. What that means to me, is there could be concerted group efforts to get back at me for the trash Ive written . Now I m really too soft a target for hate mail and other venomous forms of retaliation. So Ill stop now. About 12 paragraphs too late.